This was the first story I told on stage. I remember practicing for hours in my apartment to make sure I had it all down. Then when I arrived at the event I learned that I was going first! My introverted side wanted to run back home to safety but I stayed and told my story! Sometimes you have to challenge yourself in order to grow.
My love of storytelling began by listening to The Moth podcast. I can’t recall how I discovered it, but listening to the personal stories brought me a sense of peace and connection during a dark and difficult time in my life. I would often find myself laughing or crying at my desk as I absorbed hour after hour of tales from other people’s lives. So when my therapist told me that I needed to “go out and figure out who I am”, I looked up where The Moth held live shows and was pleased to learn they had one in Madison, WI (where I live). From there I discovered Madison Story Slam where I told my first story on stage and would go on to tell many more. Not all of my stories were recorded, but those that were I’ve linked below. Give them a listen and perhaps you will find an answer, a connection, or an understanding that you aren’t alone. (Note: These videos were recorded, edited, and produced by Adam Rostad of Madison Story Slam and Mortar Box Media. Adam does an incredible job creating all things media related. Be sure to check out his work!)
I’ll just come right out and say it. At the end of this story I messed up and forgot what I was going to say. So I did the only thing I could think of and walked off the stage. I was really embarrassed and sat through the rest of the event thinking that I would never tell a story on stage again. But afterwards, I took a walk and told myself that mistakes happen. That I would learn from this and get back on stage the next month and I did just that! We are all human and humans make mistakes. That’s how we learn and grow.
My struggle with self esteem often landed me in unhealthy relationships. I didn’t have a sense of who I was so I usually changed myself based on who the person I was dating wanted me to be or who I thought they wanted me to be. This story is about some of the changes I made to make the girl I was dating happy. Don’t change for the sake of anyone else. Be loved for who you are.
In relationships I was a “fixer”. Meaning that I looked for partners with problems that I could fix for them so that they would need me. If they needed me then they wouldn’t leave me and I wouldn’t be alone. Being alone meant not knowing who I was because I identified myself with my relationships. It was a vicious cycle that landed me in unhealthy relationships. This story is about the end of one of those unhealthy relationships. Know who you are and love yourself before you love someone else. (Tigger warning: the story mentions suicide).
I wasn’t exposed to alcohol much as a kid. So when I came home from school one day and realized that my Dad was drunk, it created a story that I remember vividly to this day. I would later learn what had pushed my Dad to drink that day and others. As difficult as that day was for me I don’t hold any ill will towards my Dad. While we are responsible for them, our actions do not define us. (Trigger warning: This story talks about alcoholism).
My Dad has lived under the shadow of cancer for most of his life. It was in the midst of his second battle with cancer that I learned of my depression and soon after told him about it. Despite all that he was going through, he took the brave step to be vulnerable with me and told me the story of what was happening in our home when I was young. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him but what I learned gave me a clarity that I didn’t know I needed. Being vulnerable requires courage but can result in a deeper connection.
I was honored to be asked to tell a story at Madison Story Slam’s fifth anniversary event. The story of how I discovered Madison Story Slam and became a storyteller seemed like the “right” story to tell that night. (Trigger warning: This story contains a description of self harm and talks about suicide).
MORE STORIES TO COME…